Catholic Cremation
Catholic Cremation are two words that certain generations of Catholics, never, ever thought they would see side by side in the same sentence. Cremation was thought to be a sin, one that sent you right to eternal damnation. This is another concept that is changing with the times, rapidly.
In my civil law practice I draft a great number of Last Wills, especially for senior clients. Many of these folks come to me because I am rumored to be Catholic and practicing too. (Not just a rumor, especially since I am a regular Lector in my parish). When they come to my office for their initial interview and we talk about the funeral they want, they often start to weep and tell me that they will probably be cremated by their family because it is such a cheaper option. In PA and probably most other states, a no-frills cremation is about one-third of the cost of a funeral. Unfortunately, in this plan, the Catholic part of the Funeral gets left out. This is the troubling part to so many.
Our Bishops’ conference outlines the acceptable cremation to be one preceded by a Funeral Mass with the body present. This ups the price of a no-frills cremation option and so still may not be the way a family chooses to go. Today many “children” believe strongly that they are entitled to their parent’s money and property and even have it spent before the parent dies. They are definitely not going to open that tight fist when mom or dad are gone. For others their bequests from the parent can be life changing and they are overwhelmed by it. They immediately (like the day they call to tell me the parent died an hour ago) start asking questions like “when do I get the money?”
When I was growing up along with those anti-cremation generations, the nuns taught us that a Funeral Mass was so full of graces that it gets the deceased right into Heaven by virtue of its celebration. (I am omitting here the Last Judgment with the raising of everyone’s body, because that might be a book in itself.) So, for this generation of Bury-Me folks, the ideal funeral is a Catholic one with a Funeral Mass and all of the smells and bells, the music and the blessings of the body that go with it. And you can guarantee you get it in several ways.
The first is to write a Last Will. That Will is usually not read so quickly after your death, so make your wishes clear to your Executor and heirs when you sign your Will. Usually, a promise that if they don’t follow through, you will haunt them, works wonders. The second way is to plan and prepay for your funeral with a reputable funeral director. They are on your side because the more you plan, the more it will cost. Put the money in a funeral trust or prepaid account and make sure that the funeral director will stick to your plan. If you are cash low pre-death, ask about using a life insurance policy. In Philly every parish has its Go To funeral Director. Some have a “Family” Funeral Director. That person is a good start. Third and finally, talk to your attorney about a condition in your Will that guarantees a Catholic Funeral. I usually say something to the effect that if you do not get a Catholic Funeral within ten days of your death, all bequests are negated and your entire Estate, all your assets, go to *** charity.
I learned early on in my career that most charities have a person who reads Wills when they are probated, as-soon-as actually. It’s that person’s job to alert a named charity when that charity appears in a Will. This will have the charity keeping an eye on whether or not the condition is met. If it’s not, the charity will come in, guns blazing, looking for the assets. It’s kind of an insurance that you will get that Catholic Funeral. This is not legal advice, but a suggestion that you should ask your lawyer about. Attorneys may differ from state to state.
One thing that I often am asked to put into a Will, is a bequest to have Gregorian Masses said for you asap after your death. This is a great tradition in our Catholic Church. In Gregorian Masses, a Mass is said for you, every day for thirty days in a row. Costs vary from three hundred to five hundred dollars. I have seen a few Executors “forget” to line those up but you can also make those arrangements yourself now and the Masses are celebrated for you when you pass.
Many in the Church are now talking about the “trivialization” of a Catholic Funeral. Everything else aside, I believe it is really the trivialization of a person’s life. No one deserves that.
For more info, here is what the USCCB conference of bishops says on its web site:
https://www.usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/sacraments-and-sacramentals/bereavement-and-funerals
And definitely go and google “Gregorian Masses”.