Now, where was I?

I was doing well with this blog, posting weekly.  It was becoming a bit of a passion.  Then by March, my only sibling, my brother, Danny, died suddenly.  He was supposed to be released from the hospital on a Friday.  My 97-year-old mother was waiting by the phone to hear he was home.  Instead, she got a call telling her that he had died.  That was just the beginning of her greatest life tragedy.

My brother’s widow took over and there was no funeral.  She took him to a cremation “chapel” that held ten people.  My mother and I didn’t make the cut.  Then she dumped his ashes at a beach she liked.  She was handling it all too well, but the pain this caused my mother was endless.  We had what I dubbed a “homemade funeral”.  At our home, my pastor celebrated Mass along with a dozen family.  We had sandwiches and shared our memories and grief in the dining room.  I had Gregorian Masses celebrated too.  Prayers and Masses from friends and colleagues poured in.  It gave some badly needed closure.

But my mother lost her focus in life.  This funny, sharp, strong woman was a shadow of herself.  She fell nine times in one week.  Pneumonia and a UTI sentenced her to the hospital for weeks.  She barely talked and lost mobility.    

Then the fight really started.  Temple Hospital would not release my mother to any rehab facility but the ones they had a referral arrangement with.  I wanted my mother at Saint Joseph Manor, part of (Holy) Redeemer Health Care institution.  Temple simply did not send her necessary records to Holy Redeemer; she could not be admitted.  I had to pull out my lawyer card and make a lot of noise to get it done. It was not pretty but it got done!

Archbishop Chaput had sold off everything Catholic that had to do with cemeteries and health care.  Even today, the nursing homes he sold to a secular corporation have kept their original Catholic names.  I have done quite a bit to make clients of mine aware of this.  They had no idea.  They were appalled at the info.   I think Archbishop Chaput should be ashamed.  The havoc he has wreaked on sick, Catholic seniors here knows no end.  But Holy Redeemer belonged to the Sisters of the Redeemer  and they held tight.  Holy Redeemer stands as a beacon for many in need of Catholic help and care in Philly.

Once mom’s logistics were settled the hard work started.  I am all my mother has left and I was determined to step up.  I finally have her on a stable schedule even hiring a nurse’s aide to keep eyes on her in the rehab when I cannot.  I spend twenty hours a week with her and have learned a lot about physical therapy in the hopes mom will come home again.  She participates in Mass three times a week without leaving the building.  She has a wonderful Eucharistic Minister who brings the Blessed Sacrament several times a week.

With all of this I have not had time for this blog or the site.  With mom stable, now I do.  I am going to pull from the last few months and talk about dying and funerals.  And, how we can have the Catholic funeral we want even when we are not around to fight for it ourselves.